“Sweetums, Poopsie!”
Two little furballs rushed into the kitchen chattering and meowing all the way. Amber laughed, placing her hands on her hips while she watched them circling in front of the back door.
“Ooooo, you two wouldn’t want to go outside would you?”
Meow. Meow. Purrrow.
Clearly, it was a yes, most definitely, you can’t open that darn door fast enough. Amber pulled open the door, gently scootching them back with it.
“Okay, come on, you gotta help me out a little bit at least.”
They flew through the opening bumping against each other as they went and ran onto the deck, proceeding to sniff eagerly at the air before making their final descent into the backyard.
It was different here than it had been in the city. Sweetums had quickly gotten to know the small yard and had grown blasé over the small variety of birds and the occasional squirrel that wandered in from the single tree shared between two yards. She’d grown fat and found her joy in the daily treats Amber laid out each morning. Poopsie, the younger of the two, had begun to follow suit when the sudden shift to their new home surrounded by forest had taken place.
Since the relocation both had become avid adventurers, never satisfied with the time they were given to play in the great outdoors. As happy as she was that both of her little fur babies seemed less attentive to their food dishes and more prone to exercise, she didn’t like the idea of leaving them outside alone quite yet. She watched them trot down the steps one after the other, eyes toward the trees full of birdsongs.
“Stay close you two.” She warned. Poopsie looked back over her shoulder as if to acknowledge, while Sweetums waddled to the base of the oak towering above the overhang. She sat, satisfied momentarily to stay close, chirping at a wily squirrel who’d seen them first and was now squeaking clear warning that the pair was not welcome.
Amber made her way back to the kitchen to prepare for the day, leaving the door open just a crack in case either was ready to come in before she returned to gather them.
Sweetums looked over her shoulder, releasing a sigh. “She’s gone Poopsie, you can come out now.”
Poopsie slunk from beneath the porch. “Fewey! She’s been so clingy lately. Can’t even seem to get an inch.”
EEE EEE EEET! The little squirrel leaped forward with each forceful squeak.
“Oh yeah! Come say that to my face.” Sweetums challenged, reaching up to scratch at the bark below.
EEE EEE EEET! The fuzz-tailed native had reached the tip of the branch it was standing on and nearly lost its balance.
“That’s it, just a little further,” Poopsie coaxed with a hiss of laughter. “wow, would you look at this place, Sweetums! It goes on forever. I don’t know why you bother with that squirrel, you two have been quarreling back and forth all week.” She rolled her eyes and stretched out, kneading the soft grass beneath lazily.
“Who knows what other critters are out there!” She gazed over the treeline dipping into a crevice just at the edge of the backyard.
“Are you listening to this guy? The nerve! He’s insulted just about everything about the both of us, just now, he called you a bobtailed boob!”
“All the more reason to leave him alone, he probably tastes as nasty as the mouth on him. I’d rather eat from the litterbox.” Poopsie rolled her eyes. “You hear that you fluff-tailed reject, I bet you taste like a turd, no thanks.” She sauntered to the edge of the steps, looking into the reflective glass for the human.
“How would you know?” The little squirrel piped in. “I bet neither one of you has so much as caught a fly.”
Poopsie let out a hiss of laughter, looking back over her shoulder. “I’ve caught plenty of those.” She flexed her claws proudly.
“Right, maybe you have, but your friend here has the reflexes of a toad.”
Sweetums ears pulled back, laying flat on her head. “Don’t make me come up there.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
Poopsie had heard enough, she had bigger fish to fry. There was a whole forest out there, full of delicious morsels to test her hunting skills. She didn’t have time for a mouthy nutbag.
She tiptoed over the grass, stopping to sniff a blade here and there, chomping on any that tickled against her whiskers. Poopsie took one more look over her shoulder to be sure their human wasn’t peeping through the window before trotting to the large rock ledge overlooking the deep crevasse. She leaned an ear back, taking in the hissy fit happening behind her while the other drew forward, listening for potential targets of her own.
A bluebird… a distant duck, or two. A twittering nuisance of a bird that might have been a viable mouthful if only to get it to shut up… before she could hone in any further something fell from the tree just a hop from the rock she was perched on. What’s this. She watched a lone pinecone tumble and bounce from the final pine branches before following its path upward. Something was resting behind an especially thick bundle of needles and cones. Both ears shot forward, her whiskers pursed, she sniffed the air above, rising into a low crawl position Poopsie stalked to the very tip of the rock. Smaller pieces of pine cone began to cascade down, some falling to rest on lower branches while a few made it all the way to the needle-covered base of the tree. Her curiosity was hooked.
One final look over her shoulder and she took the leap. Her heart pounded as she crept to the base of the tree. bink, bonk, thunk! A full-sized pine cone landed its mark right on Poopsie’s noggin. She shook her head resisting the urge to cry out. The hunt was on, if only she could get a better look. The cat craned her neck looking from this angle and that. Yet, no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t quite reach the spot just beyond the pine needle barrier.
Poopsie lifted off her hind legs, reaching with her front paws as far up the flakey bark coat as they would go. She tested the surface with her claws only to find the integrity lacking just enough to keep her from committing to the climb.
hmm. She stalked her way around the base of the tree, careful to place her paws lightly in spots between the dry fallen remains. Poopsie started to purr as her excitement elevated to a low rumble that must have caught the attention of her prey because the steady pine cone droppings ceased to fall for long enough to freeze the cat in her tracks. She looked up to find the small head of a chipmunk gazing down at her. They stared at each other for a moment. The cat lowered herself to the ground, still hoping the little mite hadn’t seen her fully. It didn’t look away. Instead, the curious critter came into view further, carrying with it a half-stripped cone. It pulled away another hard leaf and tossed it to the ground, snickering as the cat shifted to miss it.
“Hey, there cat.” It squeaked in a much more friendly tone than the squirrel.
Again, Poopsies curiosity got the best of her, she lifted to full size and sat, eyes pinned to the creature.
Its oversized teeth chomped away for a moment more, waiting for the feline’s response.
“Hello, and what are you?” She asked. “You don’t look much like a squirrel.” She stated plainly.
“Oh? And what makes you say that?” The little critter teased.
“Well, for starters, you don’t have much for a tail.” She noted, again craning her neck for a fuller view.
“Based on that logic, I might assume you aren’t much of a cat either.”
Poopsie pursed her whiskers before letting out a hiss of laughter. “Alright, so are you a squirrel then?”
“Heavens no!” The critter chittered cheerily.
“Well, what are you then?”
The chipmunk looked around the forest behind Poopsie. Its eyes tracking something for a moment on high alert.
“Well, I’m a chipmunk.” It went back to chewing slowly.
“A chipmunk? I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Poopsies’ stubby tail twitched as best as it could.
“Something tells me you haven’t heard of a lot of things around these parts.”
“Well, you might be right about that.”
“Poopsie! Where are you Poopsie?” The Felines’ ears perked up.
“It might serve you well to get yourself up into a tree also kitty cat.” There was a warning in the cheerful creature’s tone.
Poopsie lifted an incredulous brow. “Oh? So I can get myself stuck? I think not.” She lifted a paw as if examining her claws, releasing them to full length one at a time.
“Suit yourself.” Chipmunk chattered. It went back to stripping the cone.
“Why don’t you come down here so I can hear you better, and get better acquainted.” Poopsie offered slyly.
“No thank you. I prefer to stay in the trees, it’s much safer.”
“I won’t hurt you! I promise.” The cat released a toothy grin.
The chipmunk let out a burst of laughter. “Oh, little kitty, it’s not you, I’m afraid of.”
“Well then, what’s stopping you?” The cat coaxed innocently.
Again, the little chipmunk looked out over the ravine extending below them. Its tail twitched, its eyes seemed to be following something.
Poopsie was growing impatient with the little morsel. The back and forth was losing her attention. Her ears drew back but her eyes remained focused on the prize, she sized up the flakey bark again, just as she was about to leap from the sturdy ground and risk the climb she heard heavy footfalls.
“Poopsie! What are you doing down there! Bad kitty!”
The little chipmunk disappeared behind a cluster of pine cones. The naughty feline crouched low to the ground, pretending not to hear her human from the top of the rocks and hoping she would go away without further interruption.
“Poopsie, get up here right now! You silly little thing, you have no idea what else is out here do you?” Amber cried out, already choosing the smoothest path to reach the cat that was clearly not going to make the job easy. “Of course you don’t…”
Amber, still barefoot, hopped down from the rock and carefully followed the invisible path she’d mapped out toward the feline. She scooped her up and turned to retrace her steps.
“You got lucky little kitty!” The chipmunk had poked its fuzzy little head over the pin needle barrier. “You are lucky you have a human to watch over you!” It pointed toward a line of rustling bushes at the bottom of the ravine. Poopsie sniffed the air. She didn’t smell anything dangerous. She looked up to respond to the little critter but it had disappeared.
“Come on silly,” Amber grunted as she climbed back to the top of the rock with her fur friend in tow. “I hope you know this means you are grounded. You need to listen to me if I am going to let you stay out there!” She chided. Sweetums met them at the edge of the porch, curious to hear where Poopsie had been, what she had seen. Together they made their way through the front door for a treat.
>>>—>
“We were so close!”
“I know, we will get it next time.”
“I’m soooooo hungry!”
“I know dipstick, we all are, since those hawks have been hanging around the rabbits have hightailed it out of here.”
“Well, I haven’t had a good scrumptious marbled house cat in weeks… I can’t stop thinking about how delicious that would have been. We were this close!”
Two coyotes scampered from the bush line, the second’s mouth was watering to the point drool was running down his chin as he followed obediently behind. He stopped to look over his shoulder in time to see the three closing the door behind them.
“Would serve them right, they don’t know how good they have it in there. Food whenever they want, water, a two-legger at their beck and call.” He growled and fell in line once more, trotting after his superior still grumbling. Together they disappeared into the shadows of the ravine.