“In other news, we have raging mice. Scientists are ‘really surprised’ after gene-editing experiment unexpectedly turns hamsters into hyper-aggressive bullies…” **
Maxwell laughed. He shook his head as the last of his espresso shot sputtered into his to-go mug.
“Yeah, no one saw that experiment going horribly wrong.” He grumbled sarcasm leaking mercilessly through every syllable as he continued in a sing-song mock female newscaster impression. “So, Harvard and Sanford medical are now fighting to become the largest funders toward human trials. We are so excited about this progress. Progress, progress, progress…” He spat.
Maxwell’s blood suddenly began to boil. The vein his doctor and ex-wife had told him to be aware of pulsated dangerously. His funny joke, had pissed him, right, off. It could only be funny if it wasn’t all too plausible a next move. This place… He clenched his teeth and bore into the television posted up in the corner of the room.
We don’t need any fuckin’ help being angry… He snarled to himself, thinking of the traffic and sidewalk jams he was about to have to face. Not to mention the idiots he’d have to communicate with all day while pretending he wouldn’t rather be sorting through week-old gym clothes. Here he was, as close to the top as he’d ever been, and all it had earned him was a life he had to talk himself into each morning.
Maxwell sipped Absently from his fresh steaming latte. Popping open his mouth to receive the ADHD medication he couldn’t make it through the day without. He took a deep breath, as if becoming whole, and snapped into action.
Five years left… five years left. The mantra repeated mindlessly as he locked the door reflexively behind himself. He drew the keys away from the lock without looking. His hand reached out with liquid smoothness and tested to be sure as he turned seamlessly into the hall and headed for the stairs.
The expression on his face was void of any tells as he slipped his aviators over his eyes, effectively blocking the only sign of life. With that, Maxwell assumed his Identity. Marching obediently to the drumbeat leading him to Cubical #7731, Suite 15, on Sundance Avenue. The little vein at the corner of his hairline throbbed more to life with each step drawing him in.
** an actual headline and the story I pictured immediately after diving into the article.
….
To anyone who might need the reminder.
You are more than the industry you feed, you are full of elements that make up the entire universe. These elements each have incredible traits and characteristics… Each is continually rendering itself to suit and contain you in a way that will allow you to move with the most ease. You are raw, pure potential at any given moment with the power to change how reality approaches you. There is a benevolent, pure force that runs through you like a river.
If you tap into this stream and listen to what’s inside, acknowledge the trains of thought that have been entertained and chosen enough times in the past that they are the loudest in the bunch. Maybe other people or experiences have turned up their volume but ultimately, they are akin to viruses. Once they catch, their survival depends on replicating and overpowering the already weakened environment around them.
Thoughts that make you feel more grounded, balanced on your feet, or more yourself, whatever that may be…. are like an antibiotic, or warm tea, or a pink sea salt bath, or running, walking, whatever puts you back in motion or at perfect rest. These are far more useful thoughts for moving forward that the deteriorating loops of self-deprecation we can tend to entertain on autopilot.
I can’t promise you the path will always make sense at first. I can guarantee it won’t be easy and choosing allies with care, not instinct is key because at first, the instinct can be to hold onto old garbage by inserting more, because said garbage trait doesn’t want to leave and has convinced you it is a part of who you are. This may be true, but only because it was been so in the past. The more choices made in favor of yourself will result in these things losing interest in being around you because they can’t feed in or through you.
When you truly chose to know yourself and the truth above all else, you meet a third party who powers it all. It is nameless and faceless because its substance can wear any face and take any name it wants. Kind of like, I have a liver, but Bernie Grove, is not a liver… I have traits and embodiments and characteristics that may be kindred to those given off BY the function and makeup of a liver, but ‘I’ am more. My liver is one of many that makeup who ‘I’ am.
When you realize your real reality instead of how it might be perceived by anyone on the outside looking in, the view shifts. Since then beneath all other feelings, emotions, sensations, or experiences that might emerge, there is nothing but compassion and care for what has been experienced. It happens as a result of choosing to experience and express yourself from the view of what might be powering it and giving it essence and being, and material to physically manifest its reality in accordance with the natural way of things.
Especially the visuals that begin to come, these are such a gift, and those I’ve talked or listened with who’ve expressed similar sensations to what I am beginning to. Where you might see yourself in situations you’ve only been taught to see from views that weren’t your own for the first time in a way that allows you to see yourself as precious and more than was suggested by your surroundings. And you will understand how you fit into the equation and were a necessary component.
No one else could have stood where you stood and did what you did right at any given moment in your timeline or awareness, by proxy or condition. None of those situations could have been expressed without your cooperation. You are amazing. No matter what has happened the fact that you are alive and breathing at this moment means there are a million impossible things that have happened and continue happening to keep you sustained and alive… YOU ARE BREATHING WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT, when you do it while conscious of it, this is you coming into union with yourself. Becoming one with your rhythm to check in and see how everything is going. YOUR HEART IS CHOOSING TO POUND ON REPEAT, when you are conscious of your thought stream and breathing, you can slow or speed up your heart, every internal process has an external trigger, like a cheat code… How well are you willing to get to know yourself?… you as a consciousness… What are you doing to make your insides job more enjoyable, or at the very least, less deadly? Are you feeding your ‘I’ poison in the form of stress and anxiety chemicals and all the chemicals offered to stave them off, or are you taking negative or invasive thoughts to the mats for a wrestle or a literal run to burn off stagnant energy? It’s amazing how quickly physical, spiritual, or mental practices build a ladder to higher states.
Some answers can be so simple if we don’t let our programming get in the way.
Imagine what you contain is a little factory full of living things that depend on you for everything. (The following are notes taken from my personal burn book, notes to self… they are not meant to point blame but direct energy more usefully <3 ) Want to know why you don’t have better friends, better things, better whatever? Maybe your insides are giving your consciousness a failing life report, as long as this is sustained, why would said consciousness be allowed any more responsibilities or powers? Both might be dangerous additions. How can I be trusted with someone else’s intimate long-term well-being if my own ability to care for myself is a joke? These are pearls I had handballed into my face over my journey. In the backend, they’ve left permanent marks on my life that I am now forever grateful for but sometimes the most impactful also hurt. To purify gold sometimes it has to be heated, melted, transformed, and formless in order to let the dross lift to the surface to be exposed and extracted.
If you are consistent in your directive to be true to what you hold inside, manage your internal and personality assets and see how life responds. You will see the changes visibly, you will feel them, and you will think your thoughts differently, this is the beginning of self-discovery and so discovering the Glue of Life. Until one moment you realize, you are housing your closest ally and friend, currency means something more universal to you, and you are unstoppable. Where you spend your attention and energy and time will be nothing without you, because it would be nothing to you… You and your experience are one, what will it be to you?
AFFIRMATIONS FOR A POWERFUL LIFE:
I am a miracle, a living being.
To breathe easily is a birthright, nothing capitalizes on what has to happen endlessly.
I was created to overcome any obstacle standing between me and my desired outcome, the ‘how’ I leave to the powers and authorities that be within and around me.
I allow life to approach me accordingly, and with all of its nurturing might!
My surroundings fail to construct or alter my mood.
That remains between me and the roots of my life.
Life approaches me wondrously. I receive and give freely.
I feed on the beautiful experiences I am offered each moment.
My thoughts are the perfect company