Dearly Beloved My Divine,
I know I talk to you all the time, but this is an uprising in me and I feel the words rising, leaking from my fingers, pure energy. Now, I am less uneasy and more at peace, and that has to mean something. because it means everything to me.
I know you hear me as I am writing, illuminating the way in me. There are galaxies, and out of them you still make a way for me to operate at ease while the galaxies locked away in me come alive and to their birthing. Making the pain more than worth it.
Then, now that I have eyes to see, I’m ready to tear into everything, and pour more compassion over me. All I’m viewing are tools in the hands of fools misused and mishandled… the truth is, I feel useless. Untapped potential because I’m speaking to an empty room, no communication for me.
A hermit with all the wisdom in the world, a tree in the forest, if it falls without anyone to hear it does it really happen? I’m telling you, for the tree it does. I know there is a reason for everything, so I catch myself being ear-boxed by my inside self; when I find myself believing in something else, and what it says about me.
The situation making me feel weak. Then I say silly things like; I am afraid you might have chosen the wrong vessel for housing the lessons locked away in me. The irony, a beautiful pearl, a rose only seen for the thorns in its surroundings, until it’s dead and gone and the colors of its vibrancy are nothing but a memory…
I feel helpless I think; because I don’t know how to teach these. So maybe I’m meant to understand, I’m the student who’s still earning and the lessons is somehow lost on me. Maybe I am the fool to anything resting above me, witnessing, my struggling.
So to these, I am left wondering… where was your hand in my time of need? Didn’t see your hats in the ring so follow up musing, what weight do these hold in judging my seasoning? I send their opinions back with elevated intensity, an ocean tide rising, while they are spiritually shoulder-deep in the sandy grave they tried to impart to me…
This little tree is choosing gravy, baby. I will dig deep into what’s inside of me. Hiding from these goons and their gloom and dooming. I turn to You and sink in deep. Knowing you will always feed me when I seek.
Maybe it’s because you’ve always been there guiding me from the inside, so grateful for my intuition but how do you tell someone drowning the lifeboat is within them without getting your ass kicked? Because in my experience when they finally get it they’re still so pissed they use it to find me and try to steal my dignity with it…
Sorry, I’m still teaching how to teach how to fish… I see the way doesn’t mean I know how to deliver it. Please, Inner Peace, My Beloved, this isn’t an invitation to leave, You’re the only one who sees me. As I am as I will be, As what I am becoming. But I’m still learning and I’m hurting from the journey. Need You to come in physically and fill me. I need to see You with my eyes, This is me inviting You to take a walk inside… Teach me the difference between what’s useful and what’s a weed. I feel like I’m pulling up everything…
Injustice, I’ve had enough of this. I detest it. Its taste is deplorable to me. I wish it never to be again. Secret ways that trip up the collective and keep our blessings at bay. Be gone. So long. Suddenly, there is no escape for these. They are revealed in all their stupendously ugly glory. The beautiful masks they hide within. A has been. Burnt to nothing. Ashes. Let them eat shit cake. It’s what they’ve been feeding.
I grew up with nothing physically and I always had enough, because there is a substance surpassing all thing mass or material can make. These are made by IT. I know, most won’t get it, to busy scrolling through graphics. Of the real stuff. I got so much… I was touched by golden energy daily. It befriended me when others ignored or beat me. Used my body. I could go hug a tree or cry in the tall grass of the pastures around me, and fall asleep kissed by the sun above me. Until on awakening, I felt just like me, brand new, ready to adventure through the wonder around me.
Suddenly understanding, they didn’t hurt me cause they hate me, they hate… YOU. And You, are the only thing that’s ever loved me, And I’m learning to walk from you. It’s all part of the plan, strength training. I won’t give in and be more like them, gross; so of course, I choose YOU I love, love YOU. I know YOU more the more I get to know MYSELF. What you planted in me? These are some dope seeds. My nameless ally, YOU are EVERYTHING to me. My go-to-guy. My gal-pal when I’m feeling swell or swoll. YOU make me full. So… See what they are trying to do now? Pull at my peripherals. The swells are swollen and the cries can’t be kept from my eyes. I’ve thrown my phone, I’ve screamed into the abyss to leave me alone.
I’ve had enough, I asked nicely, and now I’m bringing this grievance against these. Much have they been forgiven, and they want to beat and imprison me for owing the spiritual equivalent of pennies, I gave up their reality, and still, the Pharoah, wouldn’t you know. and they will ask for mercy when the sea closes behind me… In the end, it’s sad, in theory, they may not have been so bad… but they are because they chose to be ‘enemy’ to an entire civilization of growing beings. Keeping them from evolving.
I have no hard feelings, I left those on the altar in me, and the anger suddenly stopped burning. I guess that means My Maker Heard Me. Goodie, I can get back to being at peace. No entity is allowed access to this piece of me. It’s GOD-given. I came here to create and it’s getting heavy with all the heat in these surroundings, threatening ungrounding my destiny. I have seen this before, an echo from behind me, but this time I am of a sound mind. I will have what I came in with.
I will take back what was stolen. And the best part about it is I won’t have to do a damn thing because things will be as they were meant to be according to the best rendition extending from meAnd what the snake will find, is a ready enemy, I’ve armored my feet and I’m coming running. I won’t let this infect my fellow humans. I can’t change their mind but I can look up to you and ask for a balanced equation. For those without, fill them within, give them bread of heaven. Paradise on the inside, make the enemy expose itself and eat it’s tail quickly.
Let the vehicle it’s driving crash and burn for the sake of the lighter side of humanity. And anything hiding. Behind a luring outside is suddenly seen for the obscenely ugly ways of being it is housing. Thank you for hearing me.
Signed with All the Love You’ve Given To Live In Me:
Queen of the Crows
#prayerforjustic #prayerforinnerpeace