Recently, I was discussing life and different views of the mountain with a friend who has been wrapped up in the political scene. The thoughts that poured in through the aftermath took my breath away. These are my takeaways I hope they serve someone in a similar boat.
I knew the social and political arenas were toxic when I made my exodus over a year ago (after diving in headfirst…) but I am legitimately impressed by how much worse it’s become since. There is a dumpster fire, and then there is; imminent disaster on the brink of no return.
My intuition tells me we are at that point, strange enough I’m okay with this since the systems in power were a mess and dirty with inconsistencies and a lack of true justice and representation, to begin with. This is just what it looks like when the truth digs its heels in and says enough is enough time to air out some universal vents.
We are dealing with a generational build-up of gross mismanagement of power and resources, and it’s threatening to stop the progress humanity has made despite these overreaches. Like fatty deposits in a main artery or vein, if we don’t face these and deal with them appropriately, we are all at risk of a universal heart attack.
I guess part of me always suspected this would be the case since books were my best friends growing up. After reading enough of them dating back prior to 200 years ago I started to notice a trend… History tends to repeat. Like a pendulum what happens at one side of any action’s spectrum of motion is bound to happen when it reaches the other end.
There are no exemptions from this rule unless the trajectory is otherwise acted upon by an opposing force, as our laws of thermodynamics suggest. Anyone who’s picked up a substantial narrative longer than a tweet post and not on the NY Times bestsellers list can probably agree with me on this sentiment. It’s our job to focus on the space between the far reaches of the said pendulum in order to prevent massive destruction.
The present, despite what’s happened in the past to lead us to this point, is our responsibility. My instincts and the signs of the times tell me, we are coming to the head of a backswing that will affect every form of life put under our protection. Collectively I think it’s safe to say we’ve been poor stewards of this honor.
I’ve been able to avoid most conflict surrounding it since I spend most of my time with a very select few who I can openly discuss different ideas with, but recent political and social pollutants have been leaking back in through cracks in my walls like a dark oozy Flubber, bound and determined to engage and consume everything living. Makes me think of an environmental advertisement shoved down my throat a while back. The main character, a duckling, covered in oil and unable to move without help.
By the grace of God, the battle in my personal life has been raging and keeping me focused on what’s in front of my face. I don’t have time in my book for boogiemen that my maker will have his way with in the end. At this point in my mental argument, I realized in a weird and twisted way, I’ve become grateful for the season of hardships I’m currently swimming through. In a strange way, they’ve given me a purpose and reason to stay attentive to growing and getting to know myself.
After hanging up, I was legitimately frustrated. Something I’d put down in my life was sneaking in through people I care about. I didn’t realize how much it was eating at me until I’d cleaned the kitchen, scrubbed the scummy bathroom, folded the laundry I’d been neglecting because it is by far my least favorite of chores. I settled on the conclusion that I had to let go and move forward, but how? It was increasingly difficult to do so with that sick puppy biting at my heels demanding so much of my attention.
A LITTLE CONTEXT: I am an American citizen, army veteran, and I have never voted. I’ve never even registered so scourge me as you might, but something inside always told me that outlet wasn’t what it seemed. Not to put my trust in something I couldn’t get a behind-the-scenes look at and know the full story over. If I wanted to invest my time and attention and energy I would have to do some digging or completely lose my integrity buying into the piper pieing from behind the curtain. That inkling has freed my mentality so much to be a none partisan pair of eyes. For that, I am forever grateful to the goodness I’ve been following since childhood.
That being said. I was left feeling a little heavy after the conversation. I couldn’t put my finger on the why right away but while I was writing it struck me… Maybe what bothered me most was the superficial understanding we’ve all been forced to indulge in, not just with politics, but with everything.
There is always something in the great out-there and forever just outside of my ability to physically touch, taste, hear, and see begging for my attention to be taken off of personal improvement. There is always something tugging, pulling, forcing, and even demanding that I not pay attention to myself and the personal closets I keep.
When I was invested in the social and political atmosphere it was almost like, I had to go in for a fix often enough to bite on to one view of things or the other for a sense of security on my stance; even if the view offered didn’t fulfill the full picture for me. After investing enough of myself into these environments, I started to become them.
Ugly, full of hate, and useless opinions I’d gathered from the easy to reach opinions and hate of others. I started to find myself pointing fingers instead of asking questions and seeking or waiting for their answers to manifest in front of me. I started to hate myself and feel devalued which allowed me to justify all other kinds of gross lifestyle choices. Until one day, I looked down to realize I was standing on a pile of dead lies. I was convicted. I either quit this way of life or go on living in a dead way of thinking until I too, was completely dead.
After investing my time and attention to the climate of things in the mainstream, I started to feel how I imagine an addict might. It took stepping outside of the bubbles demanding my time to realize I was on a fast road to becoming a shitty person, a parasite to my surroundings, and a leach to my loved ones. I had become addicted to the heat and violence that is consuming the world so stealthily, I didn’t even notice it until I was in emotional and mental detox.
For a while, I had to snap myself or chastise and mentally spank myself each time my inner Smeagol begged for a quick fix. What’s another five minutes of social media? How can one status update hurt anything? What’s one scroll through some media outlet for the news I’d grown hungry for. I caught myself elbow-deep in the junk food back with a face full of Cheeto dust trying to convince and excuse myself for not staying true to the goals and dreams I’d set out to accomplish over seven years ago. I realized I was no longer Smeagol… I was quickly becoming Gollum.
I want to offer hope to anyone who feels as if they are being swallowed by it all. You know those Don’t Feed The Model shirts that were popular for a while? If you can apply this to life in general paired with the old saying The Wolf you feed is the one you will keep, Life has a way of looking up. The longer and more intentionally you neglect to offer attention to mindsets that don’t personally serve you, the more you will see the oil sticking to your down starts to sluff away and release you to pay attention to more inspiring and substantial things.
Don’t let vampires and leaches steal your youth, your time, your compassion, your empathy. That is the goal. Invest in better reading materials that put these entities into full view, and then on blast. Read the Bible, The Art of War, literature that depicts characters and traits you wish to embody and then step out into the social platform and see how the knowledge and wisdom serve you! Don’t stop at the classics, follow your nose and let your inklings and intuitions guide you. TURN OFF THE NOISE…
I don’t want to get on a soapbox here, which is why once again I’m offering a full view of my bum. But I hope this reaches who it is meant for. I can only speak to the lifestyle changes that are helping me gain a broader view of the galaxies and systems inside of me. We all have unique aspects for a reason. We were born with what we were meant to get to know for our entire lives and to reject them is to accept death before its time and to continually die to a twisted version of the truth of our natures.
Don’t be fooled, we are at war for the real final frontier (our minds and mentalities), and right now, the enemy is gaining ground in the mainstream because everyone who’s jumped in is compromised by their own blindspots and willing to cut corners to gain and achieve superficial gratifications that never last more than a click or a like and can be burnt down by a single thumb pointing the opposite direction.
The wheat and the weeds are being tested in all of us, when the furnace comes to your door knocking for an intimate visit, will your contents hold up? Or burn down?
If this article interests or touches any hearts outside of mine I would be happy to follow the strings with you. Until then be blessed and find ways to live beautifully despite the environment and climate we are in.