Swimming in a dream and it hasn’t been pleasant lately.
Seems like someone new is dying every day around me.
Makes me want to hold my spirit close and never let it leave.
Then I realize that’s just my separation anxiety talking,
so I let go, fall back into the unknown,
and receive the cards I’m shown.
Again.
I can only do this knowing, that it’s leading me
toward what I asked for in the beginning.
Listen to me talking a big game,
like I’m under the delusion this process is easy.
Or maybe I know, who would believe the stories?
So I live and let be, as I wander through, observing,
Watching the movies playing through the cinemas surrounding.
Easy?
Please believe, muscles like these require heavy lifting.
Could be, should be, might be… we will see, sometimes if fucking shatters me.
Yes, the profanity is necessary… because this is emersion therapy.
No room for fear in me, while the trial by fire is burning.
It takes every ounce of my being to focus on what’s in front of me.
Sometimes the battle is raging so boldly, it rattles and rolls me.
So lacking in mercy it’s unnerving, attacking maliciously,
it can turn, even a grocery line into a fight that might fold me.
Leaving a million stories untold before me,
how terribly tragic that would be.
I find my feet leading me to the sneakers sitting, inviting me back into being.
I accept the invitation gratefully, thank you inside me,
you always know just how to calm me.
An ever-present friend in my deepest times of need.
A drop of sunlight, a little sweat bleeding from my body,
ridding my equation of the toxicity leaking into me, no longer skin deep.
The puncture wounds from fear’s teeth biting and infecting me.
intoxicating and then threatening to poison me into freezing completely.
Not today, that won’t be me my life is not a pending tragedy.
I’ve faced it already, this is simply the boss rising for overcoming.
So I hit the ground running to the tune of a melody,
listening to the war drum pounding in cadence with my feet.
I’m here, come find me, free me from the enemy
that no one else seems to see chasing me endlessly.