Talking To the Mirror.
Dear friend.
It’s been a while…
I’m just checking in.
To the castle humming with life in my head.
Sitting in a hotel bed, contemplating… It. Time traveling and extending the roses at my own feet, unwitting to the identity, forming, as I become formless and free. A starburst, transforming each morning into an amalgam of Living Things expanding.
Call them cells, I see them each as little Me’s. combined, and unified in their attachment to what I say and think. Cooperating in union, to the best of their ability, keeping up with the conflicted intentions I carry. Some light as a feather carried by the breeze. Others dense the fog slithering over the ground beneath. A two-headed llama, a push-me-pull-me. All weight and gravity when I should be playing and spinning, creating music through the strings I’m strumming.
Weaving story trees, characteristics, and traits branching into leaves. Grafting them each, selectively as I move along my journey, growing. Into my own greater body, as I see fit until it magnificently shifts to suit my current energy, align me with the way I contain. holding myself hostage in perceived defeat instead of seeing the lessons conspiring to bless me…
Shift my frequency, purify my thought stream, until I am immune to all outcomes lower than the best. No alternatives. No substitution. I surrender to life, the resolution, my solution to the infernal thought pollution threatening to unseat me. Allowing the blueprint in me to crack open and become every piece.
I take on anything beautifully, wear experience like brilliant clothing, form fitting, becoming me, not I it… until Life raises its head to take a peek at the peak I’ve been climbing. Inclined to become everything, wearing each scene like an all-encompassing Identity I’m drinking in every plane as my attention turns in. I reach for the stars, and they reach back to me, Bridging the distance between. Touch down to the ground, a flower garden sparkling, right in front of me.
Roaming the greens, pondering through the maze of trees… Sniffing lilacs in passing, leading me to internal wellsprings of gratitude. Bathing in soothing lavender streams. Until bliss and contentment bursts from my seams. Undamming all gifts beneath fears’ keeps. Suddenly I’m flowing into space and energy beyond my wildest dreams; Forces there to befriend me.
All the places we’ve been. Collected in this house of mirrored reflections…Chasing dreams until I sit down where they left me, to find me with ease when I stop running straight through each, breaking the reflection meant to feed me beauty, joy, and mystery unfolding into reality within my understanding. Added to the stages I’m contending, all the while collecting diamonds and gems, upon mastering each lower element in me. Gold from lead as it was meant to be. Acting according to higher conditioning, no training needed external things can only confirm intuitive guidance preexists all physicality. Latitude and increase, to receive what the lesson is extending.
Extracting potency for further viewing, only to see, I was never exaggerating only exuding to release, don’t hold my feet to these coals lest they burn me. Only in passing doses should we meet, I apologize for lingering, no wonder you bit me.
It’s okay to cry, I whisper to my insides through silence as we sync, glued to peace and serenity rising from above and beneath, extending it to the contents, lifting, shifted. Glow bugs, doing their thing. Illuminating the night, a wonderland of curiosities.
Know, One is listening, intent on hearing every sound I leak. I sink into the memories coming to meet me to season me to tasteful peace. There, find me marinating. Until my meat softens to suit the spirit coming to life through all things. Knowing it never left me, I alone, turned my back on it. Believing the most fearful things into existence. I forgive them, those past versions, who didn’t know what they were doing. In this together, thank you for rising to the surface for further examination. I absolve these; release them to the warm wind.
Sent to the heavens; shot through the soil beneath, pressurized until the shell cracked to release, little light roots, swirling, and spiraling, tendrils extended deep. Tapped into the Inferno of Purifying. On to be distilled. Steam, set free from the body of water beneath. Finally, Sanctuary to be worn by Infinity, awake within me, speaking through the imagination I’ve been given, It feeds me, everything I can dream. To Fly, To see from perspectives above ‘mine‘.
All things, answering queries,
Bliss me baby... Warmth. Snap, then the whistling, in for the blitzkrieg. The only thing bombarding me is peace, reasons to love, beauty, sunlight, gratitude, and tranquility; and anything else simpatico to these. Even when storms are upon me, I witness from the Eye of Quiet. As it was meant to be for every drop in the greater body. Of water, of light, of minerals, I am mingled. a dot and dash of everything… Isn’t it amazing?! The story of us, it’s true… Washed free, pollution and heaviness separate from my attitude. Into the Centrifuge. Spun into sync. I lift my head, laughing. Set free from the disease I’ve been holding. All stalemates I’ve planted, are weeds, set free to become, nothing but illusory,
Faith is energy, powering my beliefs as it feeds on the currency, I’m extending through attention I pay to all matter of scenes, dreams full of what I find desirable to me… this is where you’ll find me. In an orchard never ending, free will always operating. A dance. No chance involved. Only seeds that I plant can find footing. Empowering, and equally scary. Might seem unfair if I fail to see it clearly…
Outcomes help me see what side of the spectrum I am, fear, anxiety, greed, jealousy, stupid low life energies acting on animal instinct… Rise above these to find lifegiving fruit that can’t coexist with these. Out of sync, notes resonating inharmoinously.
In light of this. I choose to exist with both feet. Firmly planted in the airs above me.
I release all the reflections I’ve conjured separate from my peace. The cursed luxury of free will acting out of concert with my being. And sow, It Speaks.
The beat in me refined and finetuned to suit the eternal muse amusing me through the deep valleys that lead me to each feather in need of collecting, some day I’ll find the final plume to fill these wings.
Breathe, little B, I need you to take deep breaths for these,
and every version to come, swing for the fences. Eyes on me, with ferocity let life guide the direction, I release the reins in me to highest reasoning, let understanding trump my need-to-know things. Let me experience what’s never been seen by me, daily, until I’m walking on water staring into the reflection looking back at me, smiling.
Take this moment… just, to be, with me. Keeping calm. That’s the trick. See?
It leads to ‘knowing’ every little thing is made for me…that I meet. All in perfect timing. Even if it hasn’t occurred to me, in retrospect, I will see eventually, the wisdom and ability bleeding through the absence perceived once it leaves. A grace to recreate and be soothed in the space between, what was, and the new thing forming through shared realities. Let all attached to me with needs tugging at my intentions be met by You and given all that they can carry in good things. Let them know they are worthy of all they desire and believe it so deep they need not even think of it… only dream wonder into their scenes. Align their imagination with the highest outcomes they can reach until they are soaring.
Whatever is, we can handle It, little lovely. See each as an offering, getting me ready for anything I’ve been asking. A test. Of endurance, to see if I was able to reciprocate, or test fate ungrateful for the experience extended to me, for strengthening, for formation, for intuition to transform me into something great and specific to me, as for each. According to our ability to ask and receive, knowing all is return on something I’ve been entertaining. Emotives asking automatically, autopilot can lead to stagnancy. Train me in ways beyond me, as I climb the tree, feed me all the beauty. Let love spontaneously combust in me with each breath I receive. Willing to become ever more accepting, or if my love would dissipate. At any rate, when the going gets easy, find me ebbing and growing. When the same gets tough… Find me Flowing upstream… Unnaturally? No such thing. How silly a statement it’s happening… so there lies a reason beneath… Organized, with the appearance of chaos for what I can’t see…
An ever-shifting scene until I find my feet and plant them firmly, tapping my root to the chord of life I came in on, the Key of G. A pendulum swing for each extreme… All things, ends and beginnings, into infinity, serving the highest outcomes I’m willing to see. All for the asking. Then leave the question with expectation of return because some laws only shift in appearance. Integrity never ending. Comforting to see, all things after each zero point in me, becomes. A package containing what I’ve been asking for.
Take it all as a step toward my best becoming. A lesson and a blessing, a curse if it finds me sleeping… Confident I will meet it with affection and acceptance, or it wouldn’t have come to this facet of me. No such things as coincidence, a word for the lazy, the hazy, the beings who forgot they were dancing… with eternity.
Let’s just sit and do this for a tick. Talk to me, even if through the silence, beloved everything.
Together, look at what we’ve become. A garden of all the seeds, forming into plants, bushes, and trees. Until fruit-bearing, and flowers wear each. Adding to the wonderous world being born daily. Help me find use even for the weeds, more like medicine to me.
Unfolding, manna in the desert, yes please, experiencing miracles resting in everything, just waiting to be witnessed and given to the takers who reach and sweat and bleed creative energy. Into the world through intention and expression. Asking each problem presented, to blossom into something delicious, or luscious in beauty. Some sweet to compliment the bitter taste forming. All the rest. Turn to confetti. Compost, feeding the soil beneath. Until nothing can touch it without coming to life.
Nurture me. I am here to grow. Let water spill from me, and honey fill my surroundings. Let the river flow free, no damns, nothing damming me. No stagnancy allowed all dancing and swirling in this body, radiating life to all things as it comes to me. Let me see the best outcomes for all filling my moments in passing on their way to their own dreams. Let me only be of service to each, for they serve a purpose with me, or we couldn’t be meeting and commiserating to send me soaring into my own wings.
Take your pick, some of the spaces in need of release, let me be free of them.
The only way to break away is to separate myself from it… These steps are the hardest.
My behavior monstrous, like the mayhem in me. Years and years of unrest rising. Call it something.
I call on the light to illuminate in the darkness. Ascents of service to any in need. Understanding, the separation between each is only by degrees; and shifts in perspective. None, more, or less, all just different… Similarities giving us an outlet, to shift back, unique views on things, a reason to look in and ask life to extend the reflection until I return to peace. Let the highest introspections lead me while I’m dancing. Suddenly, I’m sunning myself on a beach. It’s sands dazzling, glamorizing all things in it’s surroundings. Confounding, beauty beyond what I’ve ever seen, yet, here I am. Looking into the Sun while not burning. I came in hot, now I’m sinking my feet into the waves, licking and cooling my feet.
Forgetting myself in the scene… Basking in the feeling, and wearing emotions smiling free through me. Chronically releasing all nasty expressions rising to the surface to be seen. Into the looking bowl I sit with my reflection to love them, the way I couldn’t until now, when they come back asking. I sit and gather the blanket of silence to surround me. I disappear into the body in need of care from me. Sitting on the stump. Surrounded in all the details we’ve added to the forest clearing. Over the years we’ve been visiting. The olive garden, lounging against a softened rock, warn in to fit our grooves to perfection.
Tell me all about it, honey. Without fail she unleashes everything, all the ugly first impressions, and I, make no deflections, nodding along I listen, observing and asking as needed. Sharing the scene from this new view, a sapling rising from the ancient stump. Wise sayings, basking in the sunlight, shading the grassy bed beneath, housing all kinds of delicate flowers, wild and set free to spread like fire, violets, blues, pinks, and white as the clouds drifting in the sky above them.
… I understand why you are angry, you have every right to be, but let’s be honest little B, the only reason is because you were scared underneath… when you aren’t afraid you feel compassion for all parties… Now these scare points have become the pointed end of a double-edge blade, and you have me, in a space of no moving, suspended. Apprehended by apprehension.
Until the state led to depression, and the same fingers I’d been pointing, found their way back to me, kicking me out the same entryway I’d invited it in through… What I see in others I draw out in me… So little B, let’s pay attention to the beauty. Because otherwise, the things I hate, eventually wear me… the worst like badges reading “no mercy”, “no peace”, nothing lovely” and so then it is for me… and any I infect with my rancid energy.
This state will be worn by no body without high/heavy stakes. Equals and opposites are its jollies. Pushing the mentalities dueling to the limits, shadowboxing until they’ve broken away from everything they came in with. Nothing, but box-heads full of baggage and old tricks. Looping endlessly over dead scenes sowing them back into existence through attention instead of asking, what is more than this? What lies beyond this? And what is the lesson I’ve missed…
As above, so below, as within, so without… It’s not about the externalized other, I perceive, what deceives me? How am I missing their reality?… What I see, is about me. So let me become the beauty I seek. Reveal the mystery planted for me… Take me from all traits extending beyond what is healthy, extract me. Don’t let the pain turn into hate, reform me.
Let me see how I am feeling affects me; infect me with new resolution. A purpose, crystal clear to me.
Watch your intentions Little B, eventually from heart, to mind, to mouth they will leak free for anyone listening. Whatever I am doing most of, be it fearing or loving, opposite sides, same spectrum… Which ever I’m choosing, is switched on to me. As if drawn magnetically…
I’ve seen a smile save someone else’s worldview. I’ve shared a sandwich with an angel and breaking bread entirely changed me. I’ve seen gossip and the resulting savagery, invade entire communities; curating discontentment and stirring it into dis-ease. transforming hearsay and projection, deflection and superficial understanding into fodder cast between, the shared feast, bullshit, and so goes reasoning. These methods make pressure building seem easy. The fastest routes to end up on the receiving end of what you’ve been giving, sow will be given. All views are necessary to see the mountain range within each. To climb or crumble, no stopping even if I stumble. Free me and all others I’ve spoken unkindly to; to sting, from my less than benevolent attitude.
I release all strings and tethers I’m holding through hoarding stale energy. Let me be realigned with my entirety, turning memory into a never-ending story forever told differently. With bliss and renewed ease, purpose, and prosperity that bleeds into all those surrounding; living in their journey entangled with me.
Any who have fed or offered me covering. While I figured out how to stand on my own feet. These shoes didn’t lace easily. Came in outrunning me. Sizes too big for me. “It has to have been a mistake, these aren’t for me… but now, that I’m growing they’ve begun to fit me, making more sense with each step. Even if we only meet in passing.
A double portion of the beauty to those who’ve uplifted and befriended me. Until all things I undertake, I see through the lens of play doing what’s never been achieved, because I was never as I am to become it, the puzzle piece that I am all others I release… Sending it ahead in my head, repair the heart nearly beaten to death… Bending to suit the stage, instead of standing in the progress made.
Beauty and the beast become me, two poles in the middle they meet and marry. Becoming complete.
A circuit from a circus… A sanctuary from an unsanctimonious, insanity. In the silence, and suffering, I come to comfort this piece. I feel the cold in my bones rising to the surface, blowing off steam, the fragility radiating from each hand.
They take me to a sanctuary. I climb, I take them one by one. Soaking in the scenery passing.
I need to be asking…So I am.
