I came back to visit family and help a brother through a mutually tough time. His twin and my baby brother had died in a violent and sudden way, and the process of finding a new path forward was taking some getting used to.
On the third day of my week-long trip, there were some grave situations building behind the scenes. I’d woken up focusing on them internally, wrestling the cool winter darkness for answers. It was overcast and windy. Wind over the plains and farm fields in the winter is whipping and unfriendly. I was feeling heavy and needed a distraction. My dad suggested out of nowhere that he needed ingredients for the soup he was making, me and my closest friend leaped at the opportunity to help. So away we went. I was lost in my thoughts while we drove to the next town over.
The silence reigning in the car suggested that neither of us knew how to interpret the experience we were there to witness. Pain and suffering manifest in such traumatic ways. I resigned to treading water. Asking My roots to give me strength and bring me beauty. The request came as natural as breathing. I felt so weary.
Then, Life took the bait. We were waiting in line, me, with a brick beating in my chest. The funniest thing happened, so lighthearted and unpredictable. I had to hold in my laughter until I made it back to the car, and then I burst out laughing, and I laughed until I cried, and then I cried, and cried until I was so tired I was happy I didn’t have to drive… Life squeezed me tightly by the heart, I felt the lightness after the release… and suddenly, for the first time, in a long time, I was overwhelmed with the sense that everything was gonna be alright.
#transformation