I don’t know when it happened. Or if the door even hit me when it slammed. Cold hands, in need of warming, come soothe me. A deep breath enwraps me. On it’s release, I expel the question I’m housing. At what point did I walk out on myself? When did I stop being my own best friend? Why would I desire to be someone else? Who else did I imagine I might be? It’s from that point, I find myself wandering. Reveal the beginning and end to me. Let the behavior rise for transformation to then, reintegrate. Proper alignment, complete.
Maybe, like most things, it happened gradually, a slow boil the best way to trip myself up, trapped in prolonged pain because I’ve known nothing but long enough to imagine it might just be mine to keep. How silly, all seasons come to be in perfect timing. If not for cold, there would be no gauge for what’s hot, and desires reflect more clearly when the projector is clean, and so, I get to dusting, and collect the garbage. Toss and Burn the items incinerating me… So, how, now am I locked out? What doorway returns me to the blueprint original to me?
The whisper rustles the tree in me. Sending a shiver down my spine. A lovely oak of destiny. Whipped by the wind to let go the old leaves. Leave room for those that are blooming ever-green.
When did I crumple in with what has been? Set me free to begin again. Release, and rise above all I perceive wrongly. ever more branches find me climbing into views of the unseen glory beyond my ability to imagine currently. I allow the scene to guide me into fields of wonder and beauty. I’ve been Spun into summersaults through scenes I thought I’d transcended, only to see, I’d been flipped on my head and suspended.
Hanged man position, dangled from the tree I was trying to take shortcuts to the top of. Cut loose, separate me from all the versions I used to be. I release them grateful for all they’ve each taught me. And Dive into who I’ve always desired to see, be loved by, my ever-loving company.