“Close your eyes. I want you to imagine a golden pyramid rising from the clouds above you…”
Janet breathed in deeply, her forehead crunched in around itself as she did her best to imagine this.
Golden Pyramid… what would that even look like? And why would it come out of clouds wouldn’t it be better if she stumbled over it while walking in an arid desert? Or in the jungles of South America.
By the time she had imagined even a golden hue the meditator mediator was already two minutes deep into the next segment of the imagery.
“… The light being is extending his hands out to you…”
Wait… light being? If it’s made of light how do you know if it’s a man or a woman? Do you see the genitalia? Is he masculine in features or does the light avatar come with a full description in neon off to the lefthand side?”
Suddenly Janet felt better, she smiled to herself at the ideas rising to greet her.
“He asks you if you are ready to let go of the dark sticky energy you’ve collected, throughout the day, throughout the week, as far back as you can go, remember any annoyance, any frustration…”
Well, Janet didn’t have to go back all that far at all. The little dark stickies started popping up as natural as weeds in a freshly mowed lawn. She pictured all of the bad attitudes, all the annoying interactions popping out of her like little dark matter bouncy balls. Through it all, she still didn’t have a beat on the light being. Now that she’d imagined him as a man she could only picture the pieces that would define him as such and it made her uncomfortable enough to burst into laughter.
“See! That’s what I like to hear in these sessions. Yes! Get rid of all of that and let your oil of joy bubble forth!”
Little bursts of cackles and hoots of laughter swept over the once completely silent practitioners as if they were following a command. Janet’s cheeks went red. Is that what I sounded like? It felt forced and unnatural where her own had come out because of a personal mental picture these felt… less candid.
“Now, imagine this magnificent being of light reaching serenely into your chest, as its hand pulls away all of the dark oozing negativity you’ve collected comes with it. This being of light pulls the dark mass into the open so you can see it more clearly.”
Janet bit down on her lip. Ooo you’re a little late my guy, she pictured her light person dashing around frantically after her little bouncing balls of negativity, running, jumping, and eventually crouch walking and swiping out at the bouncing matter as their leaps grew smaller and smaller. She pictured the light man turning toward her with an expression of exasperation as if to say… How the heck did I get stuck with you… Why can’t you just go along with the program?
Tears of suppressed laughter glinted at the edges of her squinted eyes.
“He looks sympathetic toward the weight you’ve been carrying around, his deep golden aura has turned to a benevolent light blue. You watch as he brings the dripping dark scum to his chest. A brilliant white light consumes it, you see the negativity that used to be in you beginning to burn away into nothing.”
Janets’ little light man was improvising again. It was like she was helping him to become all he could be through her inability to stay on script.
There was no chill just candor as he frantically swiped his pointer finger this way and that, little lightning zaps blasted between himself and the little bouncing balls of dark negativity she’d spit from her pours quicker than an overweight jogger on a ninety-degree day.
She’d been so nervous to come to this session. It had taken a near mental breakdown, a lifetime of arguments, and a sinking numbness to convince her this enlightened garbage might be it. Her last chance at gaining some ground in the battle for her mind.
“Now picture this perfect being of light coming toward you, he opens his hands to show you not only is the black oozing darkness gone it’s been replaced by a glowing crystalline formation. Watch it come nearer and nearer…”
Janet imagined her little light man looking around the empty white space they were sitting in, eyes wide as his breathing returns to normal. He wiped his hands on his legs made of light. She couldn’t tell but it seemed he might be wearing spandex, or maybe he had bare hairless legs, and he was only in a speedo. She got the impression that her little light man was in the same attire as superman or one of those other individuals who felt the need to wear their underpants over the top of the spandex.
Either way, when he finally looked her way, there was an expression of smug satisfaction like Ha… Nice try. He brushed his hands imperiously together and placed them on his hips. Janet imagined herself coxing him forward as if to remind him, okay, but where’s my crystalline stuff this guy’s talking about.
The light man’s shoulders slumped slingshotting his hands to his sides. He reached into a pocket that magically appeared at his side. Ha! So he WAS wearing spandex pants. Which made her more curious than ever over what a light person’s leg hair might look like even more.
His hand came back glowing but closed. He was watching her expectantly, there was mischief written all over his face. I see how it is. She mused. She pictured herself pointing at the first hand. The light man smiled if he had a tail she imagined it would be wagging with excitement as he opened it to show nothing but open space. Janets’ smile widened. She pointed at the other hand and again the figure burst at the seams, exposing yet another empty hand. That isn’t how that game works. She mused. He threw up his hands waving them back and forth as if to say Okay, okay, for real this time. He placed his hands behind his back and after a moment nudged his shoulders forward, prompting her to make a choice.
At this point Janet was so involved she all but lost herself in the picture leaving the droning voice at the front of the fruity arena in the background.
She pointed at the first choice of hand, he didn’t open it or show her, he simply slyly shook his head, never taking his eyes from hers. She pointed at the next and again he shook his head, his smile split his face nearly in half. Like a less evil grinch face. Janet’s inside version scratched her head comically, her mouth scrunched into the dot of the question mark ending in her eyes.
The light man playfully raised his eyebrows. At this Janet brightened. Using both hands she pointed at both hands hidden behind his back and he burst into light laughter that sounded much like the tinkling of a small bell. In the blink of an eye, he had drawn both hands in front of himself and to his face, he blew a billion little light crystals that looked a lot like salt or sugar grains right into Janet’s face.
Before she could take the imagining any further a tap on her shoulder brought her back to the room. She blinked, glancing around the room was nearly empty. It looked different without the prim, straight-backed soccer moms and their yoga mats. Bear and pleasant almost. The tiny plugin water fountain near the rock garden at the entrance of the meditation studio trickled quietly. She hadn’t realized until that moment how horribly she had to pee.
“I see you enjoyed your session?”
Janet glanced up into the grin of the instructor.
“Oh, yeah… It was great, I never thought I could get into meditating but that was very helpful.” She smiled at the secret she was planning to keep to herself.
“I spend a lot of time scripting those sessions, each segment is just riddled in sacred geometric and metaphysical symbolism. It’s so refreshing to see someone really tapping into the power of release that comes along with it.”
“Oh… yeah. For sure. I totally, I felt like I was releasing a lot.”
“You know those light beings are basically guides, they are different for everyone but they are masters of transfer, they are illuminated and structured to pursue each person as they will be best received.”
Janet tried to keep a straight face that reflected the solemnity in the instructor’s face.
“Well thank you, whatever all this was, it worked, I feel light as a feather.”
“If you liked these, I think you might be interested in leveling up to the premium light transfer package. I go into deep detail over the supreme powers double helix activation transformation.”
Janets’ little light man was back quacking its hands like it was mimicking a duck while doing crazy eyes. She smiled. “Well thank you for the vote of confidence, as much as I could use some double high energy transforming, I’m pretty new to all of this, I feel like I have no idea what I am doing. I’ll keep it on my radar though.” Her expression sweetened as he nodded sympathetically.
“At least you are aware of your limitations,” He placed a hand on her shoulder and patted it twice. “Don’t worry, you will get there, and the package will be available when you do. Take your time. it is a complex science.” He nodded seriously before placed his hands piously together and dipping into a deep bow as he backed away. “Nameste.”
“See you later!” She chirped back as she stood and gathered her mat into her beach bag before rushing to find the bathroom to complete her cycle of relief.
As she made her way through the hall Janet came to a single conclusion… There really was something to that whole saying Ask and you shall receive. She’d asked for peace of mind and direction, she received an invitation from a friend to this studio, only to have her friend ditch out last second, leaving her to experience her first-ever session solo. At first, she’d felt annoyed but in the end, it couldn’t have been any other way. She opened the swinging door of the restroom to a final thought. When you need it bad enough, life will always find a way… even through enlightened garbage.