Systems full of cess
It’s death, it’s all death!
Living in a dead thing
a hybrid bad dream
created by a joker and a thief.
patent-pending…
The alarm goes off, eyes open wide shut
Not ready to get up.
The things I’ve seen, the places I’ve been
pressing in and I haven’t even had coffee yet.
Got these thoughts unleashing symphonies inside my head
creating boogie men under my place of rest
and I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.
And then… suddenly, above them,
warm milk soothes in quieting everything,
trumpeting:
“Wake up beautiful little one…
I need you to be MY smoking gun.
and look, what a day I’ve given you to get it done!”
Rub my eyes in disbelief.
Why me, who’s listening?
See my reflection? See the pit I am in?
I’m not even in the best state I have been.
feels like I’m wilting…
“Don’t test me, it doesn’t impress me, I said you’re worthy…
The time is now, and you’re not the only one diving deep!
Don’t be an ass, act fast, I forgive your ignorance,
this once you get a free pass but for future reference…
Are you so snowed you feel in charge?
Above it all somehow?
How about now?
How about now..”
The dam breaks my internal earth quakes,
as thoughts from has-beens flood in.
Cesspool of stale things and stones thrown
At my feet again and again…
somehow always missing.
So many versions of how things
could have been rush in.
No more!
Protect my imaginings!
I see it’s happening!
Please guard my mentality,
I’m trying to live!
Didn’t ask to be afraid of dying…
“Yeah… well… neither did they,
this isn’t my version of reality.
Don’t you see?
I didn’t authorize this to exist permanently.”
I hear them screaming.
I hear them crying out to me.
In me. Through me.
I see the giant is taunting, I get it…
just don’t want to have such a clear view,
when it seems there’s nothing I can do,
please a little reprieve!
I’m on my knees, ’cause it’s all I’ve got left…
“Brush your teeth, scrub your tongue
Forget the shit you’ve said and done
I’ve got things to do through you.
Pick up that pen, gorilla glue.
No more blues, pull it together, and only spit the truth!
Take your cajones back from the enemy’s grab sack
… and your spine too while you’re at it!
Open your mouth and blow them down, attack!
Push them back, don’t worry about what you will say,
I’ve been cleaning out your attic, burning cobwebs away.
I’ve got words up the ying-yang, all day every day!
Kid gloves off it’s time to play this MY way.
I said so now go, and take this stone…
You’re never alone, don’t be afraid,
Don’t you see? For you the keys to irony!
say what you see unfolding, make a scene…
And in case you were wondering…
I’m not asking.”
I’ll go, send me
just give me a few to hit snooze
before I walk to the gallows
and accept my noose.
“Don’t be dumb, little one, no excuses.
You should know by now who I AM to you.
Take off those tattered shoes,
they’ve been used and abuse
by too many before you…
Old news…”
I’m sorry I’m a little hesitant,
it’s just… I’m a little untrusting
I’ve seen how they treat messengers before me…
A wooden saw? Poisonous berries? Torn in two? Mauled by dogs? A cross?
Please forgive me I really want to do your work,
but these people are heathens, I need YOUR word.
“You should know by now you can’t lose,
don’t talk nonsense or stupid will consume you too…
You are mine, that makes you family.”
Okay, Okay… I’m listening
Got me in my bare feet
Naked walking through dead streets
like a dead beat in this dead valley
cause it’s real-life I chose
Win or lose you choose
“I choose you…
I will never leave you, not for a minute,
MY word is your breath until death
brings you back to ME…”
There it is again, that word… breathe in…
I hear you, take this fear
so I can serve boldly
and do what YOU told me.
“Consider it done, wake up little one.”
I open my eyes to a new dawn, fear gone.
Sun shining through my windowpane
All my pain drained, roses on my face.
I’m ready, come get me, I will do everything.
Let it be done, this is good…